The Very Unfortunate Mr Lee
by Historybuff
Summary: Did Richard Henry Lee seem a bit too confident in his ability to persuade the House of Burgesses to advocate independency? What if he had overestimated himself? Based on movie/musical 1776.
1. Chapter 1

_1_

Richard Henry Lee joyfully frolicked towards his horse named Buddy and leaped into the saddle. He kicked Buddy's sides and he began to gallop away, terrorizing a few geese on his way out.

Johnny was going to be so proud of him, he thought, when he returned from Virginia. He could just imagine the look of John Adams' face as soon as he read the resolution. Lee reveled in delight at the thought. He had not stopped humming to himself since he departed from "Benji's" property. Though bursting into song had been an act of spontaneity, he was rather fond of his catchy little tune.

"_And may my horses turn to glue if I can't deliver up to you my resolution on independency!" _

And he would finally be returning home. His large, ornate mansion had been in the Lee family for several generations. Every brick that was laid on the rich, southern foundation represented a small portion of Lee's heart and the pride that sweltered within it.

"_And may the British burn my land if I can't deliver to your hand a resolution on independency!"_

It had been a long while since Lee had united with his dear wife, Anne. They had been married for seven years, yet it felt as though they had just left the wedding chapel. He wished that she could be with him always, but Anne had made it perfectly clear that she had absolutely NO desire to live in Philadelphia. He would never even dream of criticizing any part of sweet little Anne's personality, yet Lee felt at times as though she was rather impatient with him and his slightly perplexing mannerisms. Yet the very thought of her shimmering gray eyes caused him to grin with affection.

"_And may my wife refuse my bed if I can't deliver as I said a resolution on independency!"_

At times, people mistook Lee's enthusiasm and unconditional love for America's oldest colony (HIS colony) as common arrogance and pompousness. But Lee never allowed himself to be visibly hurt by the false accusations. Some believed that this was because Lee was self-confident and therefore felt no obligation to defend himself. Others, however (such as Mr. Adams), thought that Lee was far too idiotic to realize that there were people in the world who did not adore him quite as much as he adored himself.

"_And may my blood stop running blue if I can't deliver up to you the resolution on independency!"_

Yes. There was no doubt in Lee's mind that it was his turn to be the heroic patriot that Johnny desperately wanted, yet was far too obnoxious and disliked, to become. And with this task accomplished, Johnny would be sure to be in a good mood. Poor little man. It seemed to Lee that every time he tried to converse with him, Adams would form a pained grimace on his face and hurriedly excuse himself from Lee's company. But now he would most assuredly be pleased. Maybe Johnny would even give him a present! As long as it was not a hideous houseplant, Lee would be content, to say the least.

Lee quaked in anticipation and gave Buddy a slight tap with the reign. In his mind, he could not enter Virginia quickly enough. Maybe he would not stop by in Stratford until after his task was accomplished. Why not resolve the matter as quickly as possible? Lee and Buddy raced forward, prematurely rejoicing in their future success.

_FORWARD HO!!_

**A WEEK OR SO LATER**

Somehow, they were not successful in completing this "simple" task. Well, at least Lee was not. Buddy secretly denied having anything to do with it.

_Author's note: To prevent anyone from suing me, I should probably note that I didn't actually write any of the lyrics to the song "Lees of Old Virginia." I know, I know. You're shocked. _


	2. Chapter 2

**_And May My Horses Turn to Glue…_**

Lee stumbled forward, unaware of the fact that he had almost tripped over his own feet. He felt his eye twitch in agitation as he crossed to the stableman.

"Good day, sir!" The stableman hollered cheerily. "How may I help you?"

"I left my horse here about an hour ago. Would you be kind enough to retrieve it for me?" The stableman said nothing but briskly made his way into the large stable, leaving Lee to sulk bitterly. "Oh God!" Lee exclaimed to himself. "What have I done? I was so sure that they…" Lee rubbed his face, frustrated. He could hardly believe what had just happened to him. He had been absolutely certain that the House of Burgesses would be enthusiastic about the prospect of independency. The possibility of them denying his request had never even entered his mind. All he had been concerned about was how exactly he was planning on breaking the happy news to Johnny in order to get the most excited reaction. But as soon as Lee opened his mouth to suggest the idea, each member of the House of Burgesses clearly stated that independence from Great Britain was not an acceptable proposition at the present time. At first Lee acted as though perhaps he had not heard them and reread his resolution once more. At this, the gentlemen seated before him started to lose their patience. They denied his request once again, only this time with a little more vehemence.

"No! No! No! And if you ask again… NO!!" Lee recalled one dignified gentleman stating.

Dumbstruck, Lee ventured to excuse himself with all the dignity he could muster up in an unhappy situation such as this and quickly departed to find Buddy. He supposed his only option then was to return to Philadelphia as an incompetent failure. But perhaps he would stop by Stratford after all. A few days with his dear little wife, situated in his beautiful mansion might motivate him to approach the House of Burgesses once more, this time hopefully receiving a slightly different reaction. Lee's thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the stableman, who had become quite pale.

"Well? Where is my horse?" Lee asked, trying to remain pleasant.

"Uh…" the stableman muttered, swaying from side to side nervously. "About that…"

"Yes?"

"There…seems to have been an accident…"

"What?" Lee asked, looking about himself for his horse. "Please, I really don't have a lot of time. Would you please find my horse?"

"That's the problem…"

"Have you lost him?"

"No… It's just…" The stableman sighed and stared up at Lee fearfully. "Earlier today, I told my son that there was an old horse in here that was no use to us. I asked him to bring that horse to the glue factory where we were to collect quite a bit of money for him."

"I beg your pardon, but what does this have to do with me?"

"Well…my son…he's not very bright. Apparently, he mixed up our old horse with your stallion and…"

"Oh good lord! Well, can you get him back?"

"I wish I could, sir. But I just asked my son about it. He said that as soon as he turned your horse over to one of the workers, they-" The stableman did not finish his sentence, but made a gagging noise while pretending to slit his throat with his index finger.

"BUDDY?!" Lee exclaimed tearfully. "They mercilessly slaughtered my horse?!" The stableman nodded reluctantly.

"If it's any consolation… I'm sure that… 'Buddy'…will make _fine_ glue for furniture!" This was no consolation. Lee scrunched his face at the stableman and quietly began to depart. The stableman shouted out one last apology before nonchalantly returning to the stable, counting the gold he had received from Buddy's decease greedily.

Lee walked for almost an entire day before a carriage passed by and offered him a ride to Stratford. Unfortunately, from the time that he departed from the stable to the time when the carriage approached, it had been pouring rain. The only thing Lee could think of that would distract him from his grief was the thought of his rich, magnificent estate, which he would be approaching in a matter of hours. That would cheer him up… so he thought.


	3. Chapter 3

_**And May the British Burn My Land… **_

Lee frantically jumped out of the carriage and ran awkwardly towards what used to be his grand, magnificent mansion, which was now being consumed with high orange flames. He felt his chin drop down and his tongue became as dry as a desert wind.

"No!!" he screamed out, though he could not hear himself over the sound of the roaring fire. He jumped about from side to side in a panic, so that if it had not been for the bleakness of the situation, many of the bystanders would doubtlessly have commented with amusement on how he resembled a hopping rabbit. "What has happened?" he cried out to the bystanders. "Please, for the love of God, what has happened?"

"I beg your pardon sir," a young man whispered, crossing to Lee. "Are you the owner of this estate?"

Lee had hardly heard the young man, for the fire had him completely mesmerized. Finally, he managed to squeak out a painful, "Yes."

"There was a British invasion through Stratford, sir. No one was killed, thank the Lord. But several were injured. Fearing a colonial uprising, the British troops recently departed. But on their way, they thought it best to torch your estate. I suppose they were trying to send a message."

"But… But…" At this point, several streams of tears were rolling down Lee's cheeks. "Why? Why my estate? It was so… beautiful."

"We offer our condolences, sir," an older woman said gruffly. All at once, Lee suddenly went from being in painful shock to utter disbelief. He galloped towards a conveniently placed well, and filled a bucket with water. He ran towards the estate and started dunking it from the ground up. In his denial, poor Lee did not realize that moistening the floor of his house, which was already set ablaze, would hardly help the situation. And the fact that, in his frantic travels between the house and the well, the majority of the water sloshed out of his bucket only made this sight all the more pathetic. Finally, after witnessing this for over ten minutes, one bystander had the compassion to grab hold of Lee and tear the bucket out of his hands.

"It's my home!" Lee cried out. "I have to save it! It's been in my family for generations! I have to save it. It's my- "

"Please!" an older man snapped. "Stop torturing yourself. There is nothing to be done about it. We are all deeply sorry, sir. Truly, we are. But do you not think that perhaps this is the time in which you should go and console your wife?" At this, Lee turned his head up.

"Anne? Is she unharmed? Please tell me she is well!"

"She is fine, sir. But now is the time to go to her."

"And the children?"

"They are in the caring hands of their governess. Now go!"

"But where shall I find her?"

"Lodgings have been provided for her and your children." The old man proceeded to give Lee directions to the said lodgings. Unfortunately, Lee had only heard about half of what the man had told him and it took him a little over half the night to locate his family. One kind neighbor took note of the fact that Lee had no means of transportation. Though the neighbor was either unable or unwilling to lend him a mare, he was good enough to allow Lee to borrow a rather bony mule, which soon proved to wear on Lee's already shattered nerves.

"How…" he thought to himself, trying to get comfortable while riding that beast of an animal, "How could this happen to me? I'm a Lee. A Lee of old Virginia!" Out of nowhere, this suddenly reminded him of all that he had been boasting about before to Benjy and Johnny. "_And may my horses turn to glue_," he quietly hummed under his breath. He stared down in disgust at the animal he was now mounted upon. "You're nothing compared to Buddy!" he snapped. "May he rest in peace!" He rode on in despair. "_May the British burn my land_," he went on. "_If I can't deliver to your hand…a resolution-_" Suddenly, Lee jumped up, almost knocking himself off of the mule. He tried to catch his breath, but soon felt his vision beginning to sway. "No!" he exclaimed. "That's preposterous! It's absolutely ridiculous!" He trotted on in silence. "Maybe I did say all those things. Maybe I did dare the world and all who inhabit it to punish me if I were unable to obtain the resolution. But what does it matter?" At this point, it might have appeared that Lee was lecturing his mule. "What? Do you think it is some kind of curse? You think that this is my payment for not being able to live up to my word?" Though the first question had been rhetorical, Lee almost hoped that perhaps the mule would be good enough to answer him by the time he finished the second. "Absolutely not!" he cried out, once more. "It's ludicrous and I refuse to think about it anymore!" But Lee did think about it. In fact, he could not stop thinking about it until finally he reached the lodgings where he desperately hoped to find his wife's loving arms. For if he did not find her in a pleasant disposition, he would know for a fact that there was a curse. And the next part of it would be worse than all other curses combined.


	4. Chapter 4

_**And May My Wife Refuse My Bed…**_

Lee stumbled down a narrow, poorly lit hallway, hesitantly approaching a thick cedar door. He lifted his cane and, after a moment of reluctance, tapped it against the door three times. He heard rustling on the other side. He suddenly felt cold sweat break out on the back of his neck.

Finally, an answer came. "Who is it?"

Lee recognized her sweet voice immediately, though it was quivering more than usual. No doubt she had been weeping. "Anne! Open the door!" Lee called out. At first he could tell by the silence that she had not moved. But to his relief, she did eventually arrive in the doorway.

"Richard!" she cried out, stunned. "What are you doing-" Before she could finish, Lee had swept her into an embrace, burying his face in her hair.

"Anne, what has happened?" he mumbled, trying desperately to hold back his tears. "When I think of what could have happened to you and the children… It makes me positively ill!" He expected (or rather hoped) that Anne would attempt to console him. But while he spoke, he felt her slender fingers move up and push him away. A pang of dread arose in his stomach. "Anne… I though you might be happy to see me here."

"Yes… well…" This answer (or rather, lack there of) was somewhat less than convincing. "Richard, why are you here?"

"I'm here because…" Suddenly, Lee thought it might be best not to confess, at this point in time, the real reason for his trip south. "I… wanted to see you. I love so, Anne." Lee smiled warmly, trying to prove his sincerity. But to his surprise, she grimaced.

"Oh, spare me your idiotic proclamations of affection! You look pathetic!" She stormed to the other side of the room.

"But, Anne-"

"Silence! I hate your constant blabbering! I wish you had been born without a voice!" If Lee had come to Stratford in order to receive comfort from his doting wife, this was definitely bad timing. "I do not know why you insist on visiting me so much! Why can't you just let me be?"

"Anne, I have not seen you in six months!"

"And a very pleasant six months it's been!" She irritably climbed into bed and covered her head with a quilt. "Just go."

If he had not been the optimistic, ever-sunny young Virginian that practically everyone grew to hate or love, Lee most likely would have become quite dismayed by this unhappy situation. But after a moment of thought, he smiled brightly and quietly sneaked towards her.

"Anne…" he called out melodically. "Anne…" He poked her through the blanket several times playfully.

"You are poking my eye, you ignorant buffoon!" Lee immediately ceased the poking. He rubbed his chin pensively and, as bad luck would have it, developed a new idea. With one thrust of energy, he leaped onto the bed and began to jump up and down like a child.

"Anne!" he cried out shrilly, huffing and puffing to catch his breath. "Look at me! Look at me!"

"If you were one of the children I would give you a good beating!" Suddenly, Lee stopped jumping and situated himself next to her, grinning obnoxiously. She slowly lifted her head from under the covers. As soon as she saw his idiotic expression, it became painfully obvious what he was after. She turned away from him, suppressing vomit. "Richard… I HAVE A HEADACHE!"

"Oh…" Lee murmured, astonished. "Uh… Well, what do you want me to do about it?"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"But darling," he whined, beginning to slobber all over the back of her neck. "Didn't you miss me?" Suddenly, Anne jumped up, grabbed a shoe that had been lying near the bed and began to bash him over the head with enough force to give even the strongest man a potentially gruesome injury.

"Go away!" she yelled, clobbering him. "Go back to Philadelphia!" Attempting to dodge her, Lee was unable to inquire as to the reason for her sudden hostility. And before he could speak a word, she had thrown him out of the room onto his rear, locking the door behind her.


	5. Chapter 5

_**And May My Blood Stop Running Blue…**_

The next day, Lee solemnly strolled through the remains of his estate, hoping that perhaps he would be able to find something that the fire had not destroyed. The night before, he had thought about finding his own sleeping accommodations, but decided against it, fully aware that he would not be able to close his eyes. A flicker of light shined into his eyes, causing him to search about himself for the gleaming culprit. He bent down and lifted a small hand mirror, which had been shattered during the disaster. Though the glass was cracked, he could still see his reflection. To his surprise, the face in the glass looked nothing like his own. His complexion was now the same shade as the ash beneath his feet. Long creases had formed under his bloodshot eyes and he was sure that a few extra strands of gray had formed in his temples.

He rubbed his fingers over the edges of the mirror fondly. It had belonged to his first wife, who coincidentally was also named Ann (though she obviously spelled it differently). Though she never actually said so, Lee knew that his new wife never particularly appreciated the fact that he had kept the mirror. But Lee had gone through years of endlessly taking care of his first wife, trying desperately to nurse her back to health. And even though, in the end, he lost her, he always had a particular fondness for this hand mirror that she had left behind. If he closed his eyes, he could still see her stretched across a sofa, lifting it to her eyes with her delicate pale fingers, hardly even aware of the beauty that was reflecting back at her. Lee undoubtedly loved his new Anne, in spite of any negative feelings she may have had towards him. But could he help the fact that at times, he found himself pondering over the past, wondering how life might have been had his first love not been torn away from him?

"Mr. Lee," someone called out from behind him. Lee turned to see his steward, Mr. Robert Lansing.

"Lansing," Lee cried out hoarsely. "Tell me: are all of the servants safe?"

"Yes, we are all fine, sir."

"And…are all of the servants still here?" He now of course was alluding to his slaves.

"Uh…the majority of them are still here, sir." Lee shook his head fretfully. He continued to rub his hand over his reflection, causing him to inadvertently slice his fingers on the crisp edges of glass. He wheezed in irritation, grasping the wounds. Lansing quickly came to his side, ripped off a strip of cloth from his handkerchief, and assisted Lee in wrapping the cut.

"You know…" Lee mumbled. "I came here because I thought perhaps I would find something that had been unharmed by the fire."

"Really," Lansing muttered through his teeth, his eyes twitching anxiously.

"This has been the worst week of my life. My favorite horse was killed, my home was destroyed, my wife cannot bear the sight of me…I'm absolutely ruined. But I'm so very glad that you are here. I've known you all my life. You have been like a father to me."

"Yes, well…" Lansing's teeth suddenly began to chatter. Lee stared at him curiously, noticing beads of sweat streaming down his forehead. "Mr. Lee, I cannot lie to you. There is something that you absolutely must know."

"Well?" Lee urged nervously. "What it is?"

"The truth is… I am not merely 'like' a father to you."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Lee inquired, feeling his heart rate rising.

"I had a great respect for your father. You must believe that. But your mother… I loved her so very much… I would have killed for her. And one day, many years ago, when your father was away… You must know that your mother had a deep affection for her husband. But perhaps there was something she adored about me as well. Anyway, several months after the incident, your mother announced that she was with child. And that child was you."

"Did she ever actually tell you that I was your child?" Lee asked, almost inaudibly.

"Well, she had no way of knowing."

"Good God, Lansing. Why are you telling me this? What could possibly come of it?"

"I don't know, sir! I really don't know! I promised her that I would never tell anyone, especially you. But for some reason, when I first saw you a moment ago, the guilt became too much for me. I would have gone absolutely mad had I not told you. It's unexplainable. I'm sorry, sir."

"Why is this happening? Is it really all because of my impulsive boasting? I'm sorry that I was arrogant!" At this point, Lee was screaming out loud to no one in particular, causing Lansing to feel a bit uncomfortable. "I've lost everything! And now I cannot even take pride in my aristocratic blue blood?"

"Uh…" Lansing began to fidget. "Technically, your blood is not blue. It never was. As you can see, it's a brilliant shade of red." Lee looked down at his bright red injury and scrunched his face in disgust.

"Thank you for pointing out the obvious," Lee grumbled, turning to depart.

"Where are you going…son?"

"Don't call me that!" Lee snapped, for once giving in to his bad mood. "I just want to be alone! The stars are bent against me and it's time for me to fix this before I 'accidentally' swallow poison." As it turned out, Lee's determined departure served more for dramatic effect than anything else. Lee really had no idea how he could possibly fix his problem. "I must think this through! This is not the time to be negative!" And then it all became clear. An average man would not be able to deal with such a horrific turn of events. But the annoyingly optimistic Lee was just motivated enough to solve his problems, instead of burying himself in pity. "Wait…" Lee murmured. "This all happened because of the promise I made that I was unable to complete… so I thought!" Lee had always desired American independence, but now it became obvious that, if he was unable to gain approval from the House of Burgesses, his life would end in catastrophe. "That shall not happen!" Lee shouted, startling a sleeping cat. "They will agree to being independent, whether they want to or not!" Deeply exhilarated and flowing with self pride once more, he leaped up onto the bony back of his mule and trotted, slowly but surely, towards the House of Burgesses. FORWARD HO! …again.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6**_

Lee galloped toward the House of Burgesses, determination pulsing through his veins. (Upon examining the poor excuse for an animal that Lee is presently riding, I, the narrator, feel obligated to note that it really is not much of a gallop, but perhaps could be called a powerful trot.). It took him half the time he expected it would take to arrive there.

It was 9 o'clock in the morning when Lee first took those fateful steps leading to the building where he expected to find each member of the House of Burgesses sipping their coffee, nibbling on cookies, and "piddling," as John Adams would describe it.

As soon as he opened the door, he was greeted by a countless number of eyes all staring up at him in silent shock.

"Mr. Lee," one gentleman by the name of Horace Taylor began, approaching him slowly. "I believe the issue you brought forth was settled."

"Perhaps you think it's settled. I, however, do not." Upon hearing this, a gentleman in the back of the room began to choke on a biscuit.

"Please, Lee. We are all very busy."

"Oh! I can tell!" Lee retorted. "Am I interrupted your never-ending contest to see who can shove the most grub in his face at once?" Lee immediately realized that this was something that he would never have had the heart to say in the past, even in his most tactless of moods. If it had been Adams, however… "You all sit here day after day making absolutely no decisions about anything important. It's bad enough that you're on your way to turning Virginia, the most highly acclaimed colony in America, into a penniless wasteland. Do you have to destroy the entire country in the process?"

"Lee! Calm yourself!"

"I will NOT calm myself, Mr. Taylor! As of now, you all are going to sit down, shut your giant mouths, and listen to me!" Taylor fell into his seat, dumbfounded. "You all manipulate me, you abuse me, you make fun of my burnt orange breeches- DON'T DENY IT, MR. SAWYER!!!" The crowd turned nervously to a man who revealed himself to be Mr. Sawyer. He was about to protest, but ended up reluctantly nodding. "I don't deserve any of it!" Lee continued. "I'm not claiming to be anyone important. I'm not even a real Lee. I'm the bastard son of a steward!" The room remained awkwardly frozen. "But I am intelligent…despite what you all obviously must believe. I would never suggest independence if I truly thought we could not acquire it. I know this country would win. No British army, no matter how large and well-trained, could ever measure up to the spirit residing right up there in the Philadelphia Congress. Each and every person living in these colonies deserves the chance to live free from the oppression of a tyrannical madman. If all of you think that we would be better off under the British crown, the same group who have taxed us and even have gone so far as to deny us of our very rights as human beings, I will walk through that door right now. But if you all are making decisions based on your own individual cowardice, I implore you to resign, for the people deserve better." Though Lee, on his way, had thought of many more cutting statements to make, the ghastly expressions on the gentlemen's pale faces clearly signified that there was no need for any further addendum. After mumbling a brief, "Make your choice wisely," he turned from the stupefied congregation and briskly made his way to his mule.

As he trotted down the dirt road, a light breeze ran its chilling fingers through his hair. Even if this meant that he would never be given another opportunity again in Congress, he was filled with pride and joy each time he reflected over his own words. A shining grin formed on his lips as he began to quote himself pompously. By doing so, Lee might have appeared to be quite the egotist. But it was not arrogance at all that led him to this new state of self assurance. Rather, it was the knowledge that whether he had completed his simple task for Mr. Adams or not, he knew that he had, in the end, redeemed himself. This being said, he suddenly became pleasantly aware that whether or not he was ever able to regain all that he had lost in the past week, his fortune was most assuredly going to change for the better.

_**Quick author's note- When I first started this chapter, I had no intention of ending it here. But while writing, it almost seems like a good place to stop. So now I need help from my readers: Should I continue, assuring all that Lee's luck did change for the better and he was somehow able to regain everything that he'd lost? Or should I just end it here? Thanks for any input you may want to give! **_


End file.
